It's been a struggle lately.....it's been a living day to day type of year so far. It's hard to be in a place you don't feel called to anymore, and when you feel your heart being pulled somewhere else. I started to feel calous, numb, and un-interested in the people and things around me. I had such a tunnel vision towards getting to the next place and stage in my life. Yet, at the same time was not understanding why God was not releasing me to go if he had put this "desire and passion" in my heart?
Then the other night I was out having a dinner with a friend when I noticed a new tatoo on her forearm that said "Be Present". At first I didn't think anything about it...Thought oh that's kind of deep but moved on and didn't give it another thought! However, the next night at church (as I was crying and pleading with God for an answer to my dispassion)I kept seeing the picture of this tatoo in my mind. The word's "BE PRESENT" kept repeating in my mind. I started praying "Ok God obviously you keep bringing this to my mind what are you trying to tell me".....I felt the Holy spirit telling me "Be Present Heidi....wherever I have you, you need to be present! In that place! Be Present in that place till I take you somewhere else!"
It hit me! Here I was saying I wanted to go to Seatle to finish school to be a counselor (and ya know what God may have that for me) but right now in this moment I am in St Joe! Involved in church and a leader in Celebrate Recovery! I am to be Jesus to those people! Here! Now! My calling is to be Jesus to everyone I meet no matter where he takes me! I may have a vision and a desire for something in my heart but for right now God has me in the place i am to prepare me for what he is preparing me for! So until God moves me I am going to BE PRESENT!
